it's time...

i've made the decision to close my etsy shop.

after some thought, i've decided that it takes quite a bit of time, and right now, i need to put that time back into my family.

i have listed everything that i have available...all my labels, cards, and fabri-scrapped chipboard words.

i haven't selected a final closing date, but i'm thinking around MARCH 1st.
but when it's gone, it's gone.

all orders ship for $1.

the repeat customers, features on amazing blogs, and excellent feedback have kept me going this long. i can't express how grateful i am to those who have supported me.

thank you.

resolutions...

i'm a list maker.
i make lists of the lists i need to make.
i've even put things on my "to do" list that are almost finished so i'll have more things to cross off sooner.
crazy, right???

if i don't write things down, i don't remember them. i have no follow-through.

so, i thought it'd be a good idea to put my resolutions on paper (so to speak).

here they are:

1. quit being inspired and be inspiring - yes, if you follow it, you know this is on my fat-girl blog, too. i spend hours upon hours looking through books, magazines, and websites. looking at and for beautiful things that spark my creative interest. but do i do or make any of them??? nope. sure don't. time for that to change. this year i want to spend less time hoarding craft supplies and more time using them.

2. finish projects - this kind of piggy-backs on #1. i have lots of things i've started that i've never finished because i get too busy/distracted/overwhelmed. 2011 is going to be the "year of completion".

3. be consistent - this is a mom/teacher goal. i make a lot of statements to encourage/discipline my kids (my actual kids and my school kids). then, i give them another chance. this year, i'm working hard on only saying what i mean....only saying things i can/will follow through on.

4. institute family night - i've managed to organize a ladies' night once a month for the past year. why can't i do the same for my family? at least once a month, it's family-driven fun. movies, games, the girls' choice of meals, visiting someone's house...whatever. spending time together has to become more of a priority for me.

5. save $$$ - i am baaaaaaaaad at saving $$. so my goal this year is to get into the habit of putting a little bit back each paycheck. i'm not sure i can set a specific amount because, let's face it, i'm one of the millions of "working poor". we make ends meet, but it's paycheck to paycheck...every penny counts. some weeks, i might only be able to put aside $10...some weeks $50. whatever it is, it will all add up in the end.

6. scrap 1 page a week - i am absolutely, completely, totally, 100%, certifiably addicted to scrapbooking and all of the amazing and fun supplies created for this craft. too bad i only use them about once every few months. i even have a scrapbook room! too bad i'm hardly ever in it. not any more folks. this year, i resolve to scrap at least 1 page a week. with a space devoted to my craft where i can leave things lay if they're not finished, i should have no problem completing one page a week. i hope...

i do have a few more resolutions, but those are all over on my fat girl blog.
it seems like a lot, but i think it's something i'll be able to accomplish.

here's to an inspiring, project-finishing, consistent, family-night-filled, money-saving, scrapping New Year!

i'm baaaaaaaaaack....

well, kind of. i looked in on my blog and realized i haven't posted anything since september?!?!

really?!?

what the what?!??!

i had planned to upload LOTS of pics that i've missed...halloween, tracy's bra party, thanksgiving, the house all decked out for christmas, presents that i've made...

but NOOOOOOOOO.

i'm too dang tired.

and already snuggled up in my pj's.

and quite frankly, indulging in some lovely laziness.

some time in the future, i'll post them (probably without much explanation...just lots of random, out-of-date posts with pictures and no words...lol)

but not now.

now? i'll just leave you with these two...

2 of my MOST FAVORITE pics from past 3 months.

as promised...

my baby's first day of not being a baby any more...

can you tell by this last shot that she's pretty okay with the school thing now?

i mean...it doesn't get much cooler than a personal escort by the principal!

checking in...

well, since my last post, some things have improved and some have stayed the same.
i'm in an okay place now, and i'm letting things work themselves out.
i have too many other things to focus on right now.


my baby started kindergarten (pictures coming soon). i took the day off so i could take her in and do the obligatory pictures. jackson and i were pretty worried she'd be nervous/scared because she refused to talk to anyone at her kindergarten prep program. but we were first in line and the monk got to hold the principal's hand on the way down to her room...and she thought that was pretty cool!


i sent her into her room and peeked in to snap a couple more pics and tell her bye. i was worried i'd see nerves...or worse, tears. but no. i looked in, our eyes met, and she grinned ear to ear! i was so happy.


i left her room and started to head to the car. i was proud of myself because i was a sniveling mess when jaden started school. then, it happened. i locked eyes with another mom from the neighboring class, and she was welling up. that was all it took. i cried all the way out to my car and then all the way home. figures.


on a super happy note, we celebrated tracy's victory over breast cancer. if you don't remember, she's my daycare mom and was diagnosed in january of 2009. she has officially completed all of her treatments, her final surgery is coming up, and her last petscan showed she's 100% free and clear!!! her hubby threw her a surprise victory/40th bday party. (and i'll be posting some pics of that soon, too.)

it's time...

to let it all out.
to vent.
to rant.
to unburden my mind and my heart.

i start back to work tomorrow, and i can't take all this baggage with me.

i've had so much emotional and family drama and turmoil over the last month, i have to get it out. i don't normally post personal family issues on here, but i can't let this go.

i need opinions and advice. i need suggestions.
i need to know if anyone else has been through/is going through something like this...or is it just my family?

it all started with a birthday party...and it's blown up from there.

i have been hurt beyond belief. i didn't know someone that i thought loved me unconditionally could turn on me without a second thought.
this someone is my sister...
my only sister.
i have been through pain and grief and anger...but this is unbearable to me.

i've tried to extend an "invitation" to work things out. but it doesn't seem to be a priority.
i'd like to think that i'm not the only one hurting...but i'm not sure that's true.

as if being without my sister wasn't hard enough, now i've been hurt by my mother.
it only took a minute...to disappear without a word.
to ignore family, friends, and grandchildren.

but, again, the pain is undeniable.

i'm trying to be strong.
i'd like to just be mad...angry...pissed.
and pretend it doesn't matter. that it's okay.
pretend that i could speak my mind and voice my opinion and they'd listen and understand.
that they would see and understand my point.
i just don't think that's going to happen.

and so far, the only way i've been able to cope is to find some space by myself and cry it out.

it's all so stupid. something little being made into something tremendous and, possibly, something that can't be fixed.

the only saving grace right now is that my girls don't know what's going on.

i just don't know what i'm going to do when they start to notice that 2 of their favorite people aren't around anymore.

myrtle beach - part 3...

day 7 - Ripley's Aquarium and Believe It or Not Museum
day 8 - last day! hanging out at North Myrtle Beach
*and a few random sights around town