Wednesday, December 1, 2010

i'm baaaaaaaaaack....

well, kind of. i looked in on my blog and realized i haven't posted anything since september?!?!
really?!?
what the what?!??!
i had planned to upload LOTS of pics that i've missed...halloween, tracy's bra party, thanksgiving, the house all decked out for christmas, presents that i've made...
but NOOOOOOOOO.
i'm too dang tired.
and already snuggled up in my pj's.
and quite frankly, indulging in some lovely laziness.
some time in the future, i'll post them (probably without much explanation...just lots of random, out-of-date posts with pictures and no words...lol)
but not now.
now? i'll just leave you with these two...
2 of my MOST FAVORITE pics from past 3 months.

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

as promised...

my baby's first day of not being a baby any more...

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can you tell by this last shot that she's pretty okay with the school thing now?
i mean...it doesn't get much cooler than a personal escort by the principal!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

checking in...

well, since my last post, some things have improved and some have stayed the same.
i'm in an okay place now, and i'm letting things work themselves out.
i have too many other things to focus on right now.


my baby started kindergarten (pictures coming soon). i took the day off so i could take her in and do the obligatory pictures. jackson and i were pretty worried she'd be nervous/scared because she refused to talk to anyone at her kindergarten prep program. but we were first in line and the monk got to hold the principal's hand on the way down to her room...and she thought that was pretty cool!


i sent her into her room and peeked in to snap a couple more pics and tell her bye. i was worried i'd see nerves...or worse, tears. but no. i looked in, our eyes met, and she grinned ear to ear! i was so happy.


i left her room and started to head to the car. i was proud of myself because i was a sniveling mess when jaden started school. then, it happened. i locked eyes with another mom from the neighboring class, and she was welling up. that was all it took. i cried all the way out to my car and then all the way home. figures.


on a super happy note, we celebrated tracy's victory over breast cancer. if you don't remember, she's my daycare mom and was diagnosed in january of 2009. she has officially completed all of her treatments, her final surgery is coming up, and her last petscan showed she's 100% free and clear!!! her hubby threw her a surprise victory/40th bday party. (and i'll be posting some pics of that soon, too.)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

it's time...

to let it all out.
to vent.
to rant.
to unburden my mind and my heart.

i start back to work tomorrow, and i can't take all this baggage with me.

i've had so much emotional and family drama and turmoil over the last month, i have to get it out. i don't normally post personal family issues on here, but i can't let this go.

i need opinions and advice. i need suggestions.
i need to know if anyone else has been through/is going through something like this...or is it just my family?

it all started with a birthday party...and it's blown up from there.

i have been hurt beyond belief. i didn't know someone that i thought loved me unconditionally could turn on me without a second thought.
this someone is my sister...
my only sister.
i have been through pain and grief and anger...but this is unbearable to me.

i've tried to extend an "invitation" to work things out. but it doesn't seem to be a priority.
i'd like to think that i'm not the only one hurting...but i'm not sure that's true.

as if being without my sister wasn't hard enough, now i've been hurt by my mother.
it only took a minute...to disappear without a word.
to ignore family, friends, and grandchildren.

but, again, the pain is undeniable.

i'm trying to be strong.
i'd like to just be mad...angry...pissed.
and pretend it doesn't matter. that it's okay.
pretend that i could speak my mind and voice my opinion and they'd listen and understand.
that they would see and understand my point.
i just don't think that's going to happen.

and so far, the only way i've been able to cope is to find some space by myself and cry it out.

it's all so stupid. something little being made into something tremendous and, possibly, something that can't be fixed.

the only saving grace right now is that my girls don't know what's going on.

i just don't know what i'm going to do when they start to notice that 2 of their favorite people aren't around anymore.

Friday, July 23, 2010

myrtle beach - part 3...

day 7 - Ripley's Aquarium and Believe It or Not Museum
day 8 - last day! hanging out at North Myrtle Beach
*and a few random sights around town

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